🔗 Share this article

“Well, the situation is pretty dire here. The guidance we offer all of our clients to commit their entire holdings into preserved goods and firearms.” That bit of wise counsel comes from the Brain Gremlin – a lab-engineered, speaking, glasses-wearing member of the oozy monster mob that infests Manhattan’s ultra-modern Clamp Tower skyscraper in filmmaker Joe Dante’s zany follow-up Gremlins 2: The New Batch. On the surface, it’s merely an portfolio pointer from one monster to another. However, curiously, it’s also remarkably sound existential counsel. Truly, listen to my reasoning.

When life takes a turn for the worse, the most counterproductive action you can do is view events with undue solemnity. The Brain Gremlin understands this. In fact, the majority of the dentally-gifted beasts that inhabit Dante’s wild 1990 film (debateably his greatest) possess the same sly, self-aware sense of humour regarding the hazy boundary separating the mundane and unadulterated chaos. It’s a single component of Gremlins 2: The New Batch that ensures my return – and as I age, it’s the theme that strikes the deepest chord.

A Childhood Obsession

Of course, my connection with this movie didn’t start on such an introspective level. Growing up, we only had a few battered VHS tapes at home. Part of that group were Gremlins and its second chapter, the latter housed in a chunky ex-rental box probably bought from an off-brand video shop and featuring growling monsters on its worn-out artwork. I was immediately enamoured and these films did not delay embedding themselves inside my young, susceptible psyche. Henceforth, they became an near-everyday part of my early years entertainment regimen.

Dante’s original usually receives all the praise, thanks mostly because of its legacy as a partly frightening holiday classic – and to be fair, I’ve watched Gremlins an incalculable number of times. Nevertheless, its follow-up seldom receives the same level of elevated esteem, which feels a travesty. As a kid, I’d never miss an opportunity to watch Gremlins 2. During long summer holidays, I’d retreat into the house and play it. When I got my own TV-VHS combo unit, it continued playing looped in my bedroom. Over time, it etched itself permanently in my psyche. If my parents detected this preoccupation, they gave no indication of concern.

Subtler Discoveries and Cultural References

As I matured, new understandings rewarded repeat viewings, elevating the fun of watching small emerald creatures gleefully trash a New York high-rise. I learned the forward-thinking real estate tycoon and Clamp Tower owner, Daniel Clamp (John Glover), was modeled closely on future president Donald Trump, with his ginger staff member Marla (Haviland Morris) echoing his former spouse Marla Maples. Thankfully, Clamp has more heart than his real-life counterpart.

The “apocalyptic” video Clamp plays during peak-Gremlin chaos? I discovered it was modeled after a real-life “Doomsday” video produced by the CNN boss Ted Turner in case the world really ended. I noticed how Dante took extra pains to film alternate cuts of a self-aware scene where Gremlins seize control of the actual feature in progress. An edit for movie houses, a separate one for tape and broadcast, each providing a grinning portion of meta pop-culture magic before the term was even a thing.

A Persistent Appeal

While it was makeup maestro Rick Baker’s fantastically vile creatures that caught my eye as a child, this deeper gold kept me hooked as an adult. Ultimately, I even conversed with Dante about it myself and he had no reservations revealing to me he made the movie with the express purpose of mocking those who loved its absurd-yet-genuine predecessor and wanted more. “We were going to make fun of the fact you came to see it,” he cheerfully disclosed. This Looney Tunes-esque rebelliousness and resolve to not take his sequel as seriously as his Warner Bros bosses clearly wanted him to, only increased my affection for it.

When I went through a abrupt familial death earlier this year, I was surprised to find that, during my heightest mourning, all I felt compelled to do was sit and watch Gremlins 2: The New Batch. Strange, isn’t it? Possibly not. The soothing reminiscence it offered was essential to dilute my mind’s sadness sludge – but the perspectives it had bestowed upon me as an adult were equally valuable.

Like Gremlins running amok in a genetics laboratory, there’s some things in life you just cannot manage. Dante is aware of it. The Brain Gremlin agrees completely. Sometimes, you have to be like them: embrace the chaos, commit your entire being into preserved goods and firearms and try not to approach life with excessive gravity.

It’s strong life advice from a very unlikely source – and it’s the reason Gremlins 2: The New Batch will forever remain my go-to cinematic solace.